chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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