Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
