What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize