ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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