i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize