Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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