OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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