His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
