Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
