I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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