you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
