Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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