Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
