Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
