it glows. i had to have it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
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He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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