with your own penis?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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