i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
