When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
