just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
