So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
