You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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