5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
