just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you will always have a special place in my vag
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
