I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
