Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
God, I missed his penis.
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