I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
