Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
