I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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