ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
