im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
