A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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