Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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