my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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