if you like me you must not know who I am
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."