He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.