Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?

(303): View more from Colorado

No its what 21 year olds are made for

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(650): So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety? (303): No its what 21 year olds are made for http://tfl.nu/2f7c

Replies (10) Good night (2317) Bad night (714)
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(678): View more from Georgia

My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.

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(678): My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now. http://tfl.nu/52n8

Replies (19) Good night (3666) Bad night (709)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete

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(919): I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete http://tfl.nu/qit9

Replies (18) Good night (4010) Bad night (629)
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(917): View more from New York City

I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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(917): I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay http://tfl.nu/145k

Replies (12) Good night (4222) Bad night (1292)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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(570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj

Replies (20) Good night (1220) Bad night (3324)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy

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(479): I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy http://tfl.nu/jx3n

Replies (8) Good night (2107) Bad night (1227)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao

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(423): On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao http://tfl.nu/dkfy

Replies (9) Good night (1530) Bad night (828)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins

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(304): "So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins http://tfl.nu/eetx

Replies (1) Good night (1381) Bad night (511)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.

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(502): I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch. http://tfl.nu/8g67

Replies (5) Good night (1167) Bad night (650)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again

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(402): I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again http://tfl.nu/3l87

Replies (0) Good night (895) Bad night (508)
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(+52): View more from Mexico

I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth

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(+52): I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/hxek

Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (652)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.

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(412): So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him. http://tfl.nu/x1lw

Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (364)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

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(774): when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two. http://tfl.nu/rn6m

Replies (6) Good night (314) Bad night (851)
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(613): View more from Ontario

There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.

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(613): There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem. http://tfl.nu/ghnx

Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (183)
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(224): View more from Illinois

What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!

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(224): What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?! http://tfl.nu/xsf9

Replies (0) Good night (153) Bad night (74)

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