Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
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Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".