Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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