That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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