he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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