You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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