I'm really into asian looking animals
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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