Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
