Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
