I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
