You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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