Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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