Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
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Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize