it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
