false alarm. still invincible.
zippers are such a cool invention
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
