hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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