need another drink. this is the easiest way
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
