my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
