im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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