i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
