she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
