I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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