I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
