sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
sex in a hospital.. check
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
