I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
