Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
