I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
