Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
