wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
