I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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