A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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