I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
