We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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