physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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